We finally unpacked the Christmas tree yesterday evening, along with the TV and its various set-top boxes. We’ve been without a TV set since we moved at the back end of September, and it has spent its time sat in the baby cot until now. Our living room still has some way to go before it’s finished – quite a bit more painting, along with some work to fix an incoming damp problem – but we’ve made a snug corner for watching Christmas telly.
It’ll be a quiet Christmas day for the two of us, as it’ll be our last Christmas solely as a couple, what with the imminent arrival of our future child. So we’re spending time together without anyone else today.
Because humans are awful, after you’ve undergone ‘the miracle of birth’, you or your partner will have some paperwork to do. Whilst living in the UK means that we don’t have to go through any health insurance paperwork, there are some formalities that have to be completed after your baby is born.
Although our bundle of joy isn’t quite here yet, I have spent some time looking into what we need to do after he/she/they decides to arrive in the world.
1. Register the birth
Once the baby has been born, you or your partner has 42 days to formally register the birth. This makes sure that the child ‘exists’ from a legal perspective (I think – I’m not a lawyer). It should be done in the district where the child is born, at a register office run by the local council. For us, that’s with Calderdale Council in Halifax, provided that our child is born as planned in our local hospital.
Each council will handle things differently, but you’ll probably need to make an appointment, rather than just dropping in. I’d suggest looking on your local council’s web site to see what their arrangements are.
Traditionally, registering the birth has been the job of the father of the child, but in this enlightened age, either the mother or her partner can do so. Before you go, you’ll need to have chosen and agreed a name for the child. Don’t do what my grandfather did: he forgot the name on the way to the register office, and as this was the age before mobile phones, he just put down what he thought was correct. So my aunt ended up with a different name.
You’ll also need to wait until the child has been born – you can’t register a birth if the birth hasn’t actually happened yet. However, you don’t need to wait until a child has left hospital; indeed, if your baby needs special care, it may need to spend more than 42 days in hospital.
Once the registration is done, you will receive a short-from copy of your child’s birth certificate, which you’ll need for the next step. However, you’ll also have the option to buy a full certificate, which includes your details (and those of your partner, if applicable). I would recommend buying the full certificate, for reasons that will become apparent later on in this blog post.
2. Claiming child benefit
Currently, the British government will pay you £20.70 per week to look after one child, plus an additional £13.70 per additional child. Nowadays, this benefit is paid every four weeks into your bank account. The amount you get is fixed at one of these two amounts – it’s not income-assessed, so you will receive the same money regardless of how much you or your partner earns.
You can download the form from the gov.uk website. When you’re in hospital, you may get accosted by a representative from a company called Bounty who will offer the forms as part of a pack, in return for your (and your baby’s) personal details. I’d suggest asking the Bounty rep to live you alone, to give you time to bond with your new baby in peace, and then print off and complete the form yourself. The completed form then needs to be sent by post with your child’s birth certificate – this has to be the original, so photocopy it first before you post it.
If you’re well off, you can choose not to claim the benefit, but you should still send the form off. This will benefit you as a parent, as it will ensure that you get National Insurance credits during any time off work, thus avoiding any shortfalls when calculating your state pension entitlements at retirement. It will also benefit your child; completion of the form will mean that he/she/they will get a National Insurance number at age 16.
Although Christine and I are reasonably well off, an extra £89 per month will be very welcome. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s effectively a small pay rise for you.
3. Informing your employer
If you’re working and taking maternity or paternity leave, you should have informed your employer long before the birth of your intention to take leave. And, if your baby arrives on time, you probably won’t need to do anything. However, if you give birth early – i.e. before the start of your agreed maternity leave, you’ll need to speak to your employer to get them to move your maternity leave forward.
4. Getting a passport
This third step is optional, and only necessary if you plan to go on an overseas holiday with your baby.
In ye olden days, children could travel on their mother’s passport. Nowadays, every travelling person must have their own passport, even if that person is tiny and very new to this world. Instructions for how to apply for a child passport are on gov.uk. You will need that full birth certificate that you should have paid for when registering your child’s birth at the council register office. You’ll also need to get your child to stay still long enough with their eyes open to get a photograph. Unlike adult passports, child passports are only valid for five years.
5. Do a benefits check-up
The arrival of a child into your household, especially your first, can affect your eligibility for various benefits. Some, like Child tax Credits, may become available to you for you for the first time, but your eligibility for others may cease. When you register the birth, your registrar may mention a service called ‘Tell Us Once’, which allows the council to pass your details to various other government agencies, to re-calculate any benefits payments. If not, you may need to speak to your local Job Centre, and HM Revenue & Customs.
If you’re on a lower income or already receiving some benefits, you may be entitled to a £500 Sure Start Maternity Grant to help with the costs of buying equipment for your baby. It’s a one-off grant that doesn’t have to be paid back. You can download the form, print it off, complete it, and then return it by post, or to your local Job Centre. If you need any more help with the cost of parenting, I would recommend booking an appointment at your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
Becoming a parent seems to be a rather daunting thing, and when faced with the prospect of looking after a tiny, helpless human child, the thought of completing paperwork is probably the last thing on your mind. Sadly, in the modern world, it’s something all new parents have to do, and that’ll include us soon.
There’s no shortage of weather apps for the iPhone – indeed, it ships with one out of the box. But Carrot Weather is probably the only app that also insults you as well.
Carrot Weather is one of a suite of five apps which are primarily focussed around productivity. There’s a to-do list app, an alarm app, a fitness app, a calorie counter app, and this weather app. What the Carrot apps have in common is a sadistic, judgemental artificial intelligence feature that rewards you for good habits, but insults you if you displease it. So if you don’t complete your tasks on time, don’t meet your fitness goals or sleep in, then Carrot gets angry, and you’ll have to work hard to make her happy again. Her AI is not too dissimilar from GLaDOS, the antagonist of the Portal games series.
Because Carrot Weather isn’t based around objectives, you don’t need to worry too much about upsetting Carrot, but she will still make wry comments about the weather.
The app defaults to showing the weather conditions based on your current location, and the home screen shows the temperature, wind speed, conditions and an overview for the next hour. If it’s raining, it’ll indicate when it’s due to stop, or vice versa. It’s possible to set various other favourite locations, if you want to see what the weather is like elsewhere.
You can also swipe left to see the conditions over the next few hours, and again for a three day summary. Swipe up, and extra detail such as air pressure, visibility, humidity and UV index are available. This information can also appear as a widget in the notification centre, and you can customise how much data is shown.
As long as the mute switch is off, Carrot Weather will also use your phone’s text-to-speech function to speak her comments to you. She will also get angry if you keep tapping on her ‘ocular sensor’, which is the glowing circle that shows the current weather conditions, so, you know, don’t do that.
As you use Carrot Weather over time, various hidden features will unlock. This includes the weather for various fictional locations, such as Mount Doom, where it’s apparently 47° Celsius. I thought it’d be a bit warmer, personally.
If you like an app that’s a bit different and has a sense of humour, then I can recommend Carrot Weather. It’s certainly more fun to use than the weather app that ships with the iPhone.
It’s been a few weeks since I wrote about Christine’s pregnancy. We’re now into week 33 of (up to) 40, so the baby is due to arrive in less than two months time.
Christine has had quite a lot of scans and tests, due to her being deemed ‘high risk’, but so far there have been no major issues. Her latest scan was yesterday and thankfully there was very little to report. Her hospital bag is packed and ready, just in case our little bundle of joy decides to make an early entrance into the world.
We’ve also got most of the things we need at home. We picked up the car seat last weekend – quite important as hospitals won’t let you drive the baby home without one. We also have a pram, a moses basket, changing mat and some clothes. In other words, we should have most of what we need, at least for the first few days. Hopefully.
Since we moved into our new house, we’ve had a few wifi issues, so I was pleased to be contacted by Netgear to review their Nighthawk EX7000 wifi range extender.
Our house was built over 100 years ago, with thick stone and brick walls. Whilst our router (a BT Home Hub 4) is in the centre of the house, the signal is very weak in places – especially the kitchen at the far end of the house. So a repeater, like this one, will allow us to extend the range of the Wi-Fi signal.
Setting up
In the box, there’s the extender itself, a stand (so that the router stands up vertically), three detachable aerials, an AC adaptor and a quick-start guide.
The Nighthawk EX7000 supports Wi-Fi Protected Setup (WPS). Fortunately, so does my router, so I just had to press a button on each device to configure the connection. Once set up, two new Wi-Fi networks appeared – a 2.4 GHz one, and a 5 GHz one – each following the same naming convention as my existing router. They even used the same Wi-Fi password.
Improved signal
Once I’d configured my iPhone to connect to the extender, rather than directly to the router, I found the signal much improved. At the extremities of the house, it dropped to two out of three bars, but this is significantly better than before where it’d lose connection altogether. It now means that everywhere in the house has a reasonable signal, which is a big improvement.
Extra features
The Nighthawk EX7000 isn’t just a Wi-Fi extender, however. On the back of the extender are five gigabit Ethernet sockets, so you can attach any devices without their own wireless connection using a cable. This will be great for my Raspberry Pi, for which I haven’t bought a wifi adaptor, but I’ve also plugged my Mac in as well. So far, the connection seems more stable than before although I’ve yet to play World of Warcraft on it – that will be its biggest test.
At the front, there’s a USB 3.0 port (type A). This can be used for sharing either a printer, or a USB storage device. As my printer is a multi-function device, I’ve kept it connected to my computer (although it is shared with Christine’s laptop using Bonjour anyway). Instead, I’ve plugged in a USB hard drive, and its contents are shared across the network using DLNA so that smart TVs and similar devices can access it.
FastLane
By default, the EX7000 uses both the 2.4 GHz and 5 GHz bands simultaneously, but you can enable ‘FastLane’ mode to increase speed. I turned this on, so that it uses a 5 GHz connection to the router but a 2.4 GHz to my connected devices. As only my iPad and iPhone support 5 GHz, I decided that it would be best to use 2.4 GHz.
All in all, the Netgear Nighthawk EX7000 is a very powerful device that fills several roles. It can extend your wireless signal, but it can also share a printer, files on an external device, and connect devices without a wireless capability of their own. This explains the £130 recommended retail price, as it’s a premium product, although Amazon sell it for around £100 at present. There are cheaper devices out there that can do one or two of these things, but if you want a powerful, fast Wi-Fi extender that combines several features in one box, then I can recommend the Nighthawk EX7000.
Update (January 2025): This model is no longer on sale.
Christine and I have been fans for a while, but this was our first opportunity to see him perform live. His music is in a rather niche sub-genre called ‘chap hop‘ – imagine hip-hop, but with moustachioed English gentlemen rapping about tea and splendid trips to the seaside. Consequently, Professor Elemental has a major following in the steampunk community.
Local band Biscuithead and the Biscuit Badgers were the support act, in somewhat reduced circumstances as their drummer had a family medical emergency. Their music is wonderfully whimsical, with songs about David Attenborough, model railways, tweed jackets, and the folk who live on their local street. Whilst a rather different style of music to the main act, it fitted the offbeat nature of the gig.
Professor Elemental came on later, having sat in the audience for the support act; this was a small venue and there were only around 50-60 attendees. After powering through a medley of songs, he improvised a rap based on word suggestions from the audience, which included ‘antiquity’, ‘flange’, ‘antidisestablishmentarianism‘ and ‘nipple’. It was an impressive feat. Audience participation was also requested for his newer song Don’t Feed The Trolls.
Christine and I had come straight from work, and the weather was inclement to say the least, so we had left our steampunk outfits at home to save them for Thought Bubble, but many others were dressed up in appropriate attire. At one point, someone dressed as a giraffe crawled across the stage, and that probably wasn’t the strangest thing that happened.
Whilst it helped that many of the audience were genuine fans, it was a great, intimate gig – equal parts enjoyable and amusing. Professor Elemental isn’t on tour, per se, but he has a few more live gigs coming up around the country in the run up to Christmas – I’d definitely recommend going to see him.
After enjoying it so much last year, Christine and I made a return trip to the Thought Bubble Comic Con at the Royal Armouries in Leeds yesterday. I wore basically the same steampunk outfit as last time, but Christine had to wear something rather different as she’s now seven months pregnant. Sadly, her octopus headpiece (called Derek) was not playing well with her and so it was left in the car this time.
As with last year, we spent rather a lot of money, although our most expensive purchase was a babygrow from Genki Gear, so technically it wasn’t for us. We also picked up a couple of books, some comics, some decidedly bizarre Christmas cards and a few small pieces of artwork that we’ll frame and put on the (still mostly barren) walls of our new house.
We saw some great costumes – the £4 entry discount for cosplayers once again acting as an incentive to get people to dress up. I saw at least three female Thors, suggesting that Marvel’s decision to pass Mjölnir to Jane Foster has been well-received, several Starlords and a small boy dressed as a TARDIS. There was also a Hogwarts cosplayer with an actual owl, although I understand she was a paid professional. And the owl later did a poo on the floor.
It was great fun, and I’m sure we’ll be back again next year – all three of us.
Across my home town of Sowerby Bridge, small white discs with red borders and the numbers 2 and 0 are appearing at the sides of the road. It’s the latest area in Calderdale to receive blanket 20 miles per hour speed limits on all suburban side streets, plus some major roads where required.
In Sowerby Bridge, this includes the main road through the town, the A58 – variously called Wharf Street, Town Hall Street or West Street depending on which bit you’re referring to. This makes sense; the road is quite narrow in places with parked cars and lots of pedestrians – particularly in the evening due to the town’s high concentration of pubs and bars. Although at peak times, 20 miles per hour is something of an aspiration as the traffic is regularly nose to tail in both directions.
The signs started to appear last week, following a consultation process. However, as yet there isn’t complete signage coverage and so it’s probably arguable as to whether the new lower speed limit is actually in force yet. I’ve been driving at the lower speed just in case, and to get used to it, since it’ll be the norm soon.
Although I’m now a driver myself, I’m in favour of the lower speed limits. I actually credit them with helping me pass my driving test in August; being able to get away with driving more slowly meant that I had more time to do my observations at junctions. Where the main roads remain at 30 mph, but the side roads are 20 mph, it discourages rat-running through housing estates. And where people actually obey the speed limit, it’s safer; as anyone who has recently taken their theory test will know, cars can brake more quickly at slower speeds. On residential streets, that’s very welcome.
Wednesday last week marked 30 months of marriage for Christine and I. Co-incidentally, the Irish comic Dara Ó Briain was performing his latest show Crowd Tickler in Halifax on the same day, and a handful of tickets were still available the week before, so we went to see him.
This was the second time we’d seen Dara in Halifax; we also saw his previous show, Craic Dealer, a few years ago. If I’m honest, I was a bit disappointed with Craic Dealer, having not found it as funny as some of Dara’s other material. We’d seen This is the Show (or ‘TITS’ for short) broadcast on TV, which is worth watching as and when it’s available, and we always make time to watch Mock the Week when it’s on.
Fortunately, Crowd Tickler is a great show. It’s part-improvised, based on interactions with the audience and some local factual knowledge that Dara has gleamed either through research or previous visits. If you get front row seats to one of Dara’s gigs, expect to be asked a number of questions throughout the show. Thankfully, Dara isn’t the sort of comedian to utterly ridicule you but there may be a few laughs at your expense.
My favourite routine was about TV dramas, particularly on streaming services like Netflix, and how there are so many and that they can sometimes tend towards the utterly ridiculous – ‘a Scandinavian crime drama about a detective who smells crime scenes!’. Which was funny in itself, until Dara pointed out that this is basically the plot of Marvel’s Daredevil.
And then he went about improvising our own crime drama, based on audience suggestions. So we ended up with a detective with Tourette’s who used to be a taxidermist, investigating a ping pong player who killed someone with a rollerskate.
Another of my favourite routines of his was about tunnel boring machines. Doesn’t sound like the most interesting subject but if you see people tweeting him ‘Poor Chuggy!’ after a gig, then you’ll know why.
Crowd Tickler is almost at the end of its run with only a few more shows left – Dara has been touring it for over a year now. There’s just a couple of UK dates, a few nights in Dublin, and then he’ll be off to tickle various European nations in the new year. Fortunately, a DVD of the show is due out in a little over a week(sponsored link), and based on what we saw, it should be a very good show to watch.
The folks at Brew Barrel approached me to review their eponymous home brewing kit. For £25, you can get everything you need to make 8 pints of beer, with a choice of different hops and flavouring to make different styles. It’s made by a German company, which, considering that Germany is famed for its beers, means it should be good.
The Brew Barrel kit includes a five litre barrel, and the ingredients – hops, yeast, flavourings and rather a lot of malt syrup. To make the beer, you combine all of these in the barrel, along with lots of water. Instructions are, of course, provided. It takes around 10 to 15 minutes of preparation initially, but after that it doesn’t require much attention – you have to turn the barrel after 24 hours, and then refrigerate it after five days. Two days later (so a total of seven days since starting), your beer is ready to serve from a small tap at the bottom of the barrel.
I decided to brew an IPA, which is one of my favourite beer styles. Putting it together was quite easy – all the components are numbered so that you can be sure of the required order. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the barrel in the fridge – our fridge is rather small, and full. As you have to keep the barrel upright, I would have needed to extensively re-arrange the fridge and get rid of the contents, which I doubt my wife would be best pleased about. Especially as she doesn’t like beer.
So when it came to trying the beer, it probably wasn’t at its best. Despite this, I liked it – it was rather sweet and very, very foamy, but drinkable and certainly nicer than some other homebrews that I have tried in the past. Once opened, the beer in the Brew Barrel should keep for around two weeks, if kept refrigerated.
Should you buy one? If you want to brew your own beer, but are completely new to it, then yes – the Brew Barrel keeps it simple for you and doesn’t require too much effort. Those with existing home brew experience may find it useful to have all of the necessary materials in one package, but could feel limited as it’s aimed more at novices. Financially it’s probably more expensive than just buying eight pints of beer to consume at home, but where’s the fun in that?
