Randomness

10 tips for planning your wedding

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Our wedding cake!

Note: This post is pre-recorded as Neil is on honeymoon.

There’s a quote by Irish comedian Ed Byrne on the lines of “The best thing about being married is that you don’t have to plan a wedding”. Whilst our experience was probably not as bad as his, your typical wedding will have several elements, all of which need organising separately, and it can be a big thing to take on.

Therefore, based on mine and Christine’s experience as a recently married couple, here are 10 things that we were advised or found out during the planning of ours.

Tip 1: Silk flowers are better than real ones

Almost all of our flowers were actually silk (or plastic). We bought them from Silk Floral Art near York, which meant that we could pick them up several days before the wedding. We also weren’t limited to using flowers which were in season – we could have any that we wanted that matched the colour scheme. For the table decorations there was a deposit for their return, and we have the option of converting Christine’s bouquet into a permanent decoration to keep. And, of course, silk flowers don’t wilt so they will always look good in your photographs, and even up close it’s hard to tell that they’re not real.

Tip 2: Think about what could go wrong

I’m not suggesting that you need to do a complete risk assessment, but it’s worth thinking about any problems that could arise, and, if so, what you could do about them. In our case, when we went to collect our flowers, it turned out that we hadn’t ordered enough for all of the tables; thankfully, we were collecting them four days before the wedding and so there was time for more to be made up for the day.

We also ensured that both myself and Christine were at the wedding venue (but in separate parts of the hotel) a couple of hours before the ceremony, so that we didn’t start late. And the cake was delivered to us by the bakery, rather than us collecting it and then potentially dropping and ruining it.

You may also want to consider wedding insurance, but we didn’t bother and wouldn’t have needed it anyway. We did, however, use credit cards for the expensive things, so there would have been the possibility of using Section 75 if things went wrong.

Tip 3: Your wedding needn’t cost the earth

On average, weddings in the UK cost £20,000, apparently. I find that hard to believe as ours cost less than half of that. They are expensive (and consequently we’re a bit broke at the moment) but you can avoid a lot of unnecessary expenses. As ever, MoneySavingExpert.com has a guide – 50 cheap wedding tips – and whilst some are extreme we did make a number of savings. With the help of Christine’s chief bridesmaid, we designed and printed our own wedding invitations on VistaPrint (sponsored link), which looked great and worked out at about 50p per invite – far less than some companies charged.

Also, when using some suppliers it’s sometimes worth not mentioning that it’s for a wedding, as some companies will want to charge you more because it’s your ‘special day’.

Tip 4: All-in-one packages are easier

We went for a big, all-in-one package with our hotel, the Best Western Monk Bar Hotel in York (Now known as the York DoubleTree by Hilton). The package was the single largest wedding purchase and cost almost half of our total budget, but it included lots of things that we would have otherwise had to organise separately. These included use of a room for the ceremony, along with some flowers (these were real but matched our silk flowers), the wedding reception with food and some drinks, plus placecards, and a DJ for the disco in the evening.

It may have been cheaper to hire a hall, caterers, and a DJ, and then buy in drinks and our own stationery, but more hassle. Considering all of the other things we’ve had to organise, having these things together was a big weight off our minds.

Tip 5: Get help from friends and family

Christine’s chief bridesmaid helped us with the invites, as already mentioned, and my mum also helped us make the wedding favours (which again cost around £1 each in the end), as well as some legwork last year looking for suitable venues.

But you could go further – if you have a friend with a decent camera who takes good photos, it may be worth approaching them to take your pictures on the day rather than hiring a professional photographer. Ditto if you have a friend who makes nice cakes. In the end we didn’t have any friends helping us on the day – we wanted our friends and family to enjoy the wedding as well – but it may be worth asking.

Tip 6: Get some ‘you time’ on the day

I’m saying this because we didn’t. We got married at 2pm and it was after midnight before Christine and I had any time alone with each other to sit down and relax. Ideally we would have taken some time out after the reception had finished to put our feet up, but we ended up spending some time with the photographers instead.

Tip 7: Go to wedding fairs, but get recommendations as well

Wedding fairs are a good way to find out about photographers, cake makers, florists and the like, but a personal recommendation is always better. The hotel and the bakery that we went for – 3 Tier Cakes in Halifax – both came recommended by several people and we weren’t disappointed. The hotel were fantastic and went out of their way several times to help us, and the cake looked and tasted fantastic.

However, we also found our flowers and our photographer – Michelle Heseltine – at separate wedding fairs and we very pleased with both. In all, we went to three wedding fairs in Leeds, Bradford and Manchester; the latter wasn’t so much use as it was so far away from York where we got married in the end, so I would recommend going to fairs closer to where you plan to get married. There are plenty of them and you can usually come away with a lot of freebies, but don’t feel pressurised to sign up to anything on the spot.

And I’d suggest setting up a throwaway email account for use at wedding fairs, as you’ll get asked for your contact details by lost of people which will result in a lot of junk email. Once you’ve got everything arranged then you can just close the account.

Tip 8: Think how long you want your photographer for

We’ve been to a number of weddings where the photographer turns up just as the bride finishes getting ready, stays for the ceremony and official photographs, then grabs a couple of shots of the newly-married couple pretending to cut the cake before disappearing. That means that you’re reliant on friends and family taking pictures during the reception and the disco.

We decided to pay a bit more and have two photographers all day. They were there about an hour before the ceremony to separately photograph Christine and I getting ready, and were there right through the ceremony, the reception and for the first hour of the disco. Therefore they were able to photograph the actual cake-cutting and also the guests who were only here in the evening. That way our photo album will record the events of the whole day.

Also, when choosing a photographer, make sure you sign a contract so you know exactly what services to expect, and whether you can buy the copyright for the photos (we didn’t do this, but we’re not too bothered about it). And make sure that the photographer is insured, and therefore able to provide a replacement photographer in case of illness. You don’t want to receive a phone call on the morning of your wedding saying the photographer can’t make it, leaving you high and dry.

Equipment isn’t everything. You absolutely should ensure that your photographers are using good quality kit, but make sure you see plenty of sample photos that they have taken as well. Ideally, you’ll be able to find someone who can take great pictures, and has top-end cameras, flashes and lenses so that you get plenty of quality and detail in your pictures.

Finally, always look at the photographer you’ve paid for. Your friends and family will have their own cameras too, and feel free to pose for those when your official photographer doesn’t need you looking at them.

Tip 9: Drink plenty of water

The abundance of alcohol at most weddings, combined with big wedding dresses or suits with waistcoats and shirts, and lots of dancing, means that you can get dehydrated. Make sure you drink plenty of water throughout the day, and alternate alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic ones. Dehydration will be the main cause of a hangover the following morning, which makes things difficult when you need to tidy up and vacate the premises before lunchtime.

We were offered a lot of free drinks and ended up turning some down; not at least because I wanted to be able to do my speech without slurring.

If you’re planning on wearing a big dress, think about toilet breaks as well.

Tip 10: Relax and enjoy the day

I suppose this is a re-hash of tips 2 and 6, but with good planning, everything will work out fine on the day, and you won’t be overwhelmed and stressed. And try to relax – you are the focus of the day and people will always be there to help you.

Everything went well for us, and we had a fabulous day that we will want to remember for the rest of our married lives.

All stagged out

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Gone Ape

So I’m back from my Stag Weekend and somewhat recovered (not helped by picking up a cold whilst away). We stayed at a camping barn near Kirkbymoorside, and on Saturday we went to Go Ape! in Dalby Forest. It’s not something that I would have thought about doing myself but I really enjoyed it, and the weather was almost perfect. I haven’t yet uploaded the photos to Flickr, bar the one above, but there is a YouTube video that I took of one of my fellow stags coming in from the final zip wire:

Afterwards, we had a tour of The Great Yorkshire Brewery in Cropton, which just happened to also have a beer festival on at the same time.

It was a really great weekend and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Things are a little quiet around here

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The Stray

Apart from last week’s eulogy to Google Reader, it’s been the best part of a month since I’ve last posted on here. This is not due to a lack of things happening but more because I’ve been very busy, and/or too tired. Today is actually the first day that I haven’t been at work since Sunday 10th March, having worked both days last weekend. As it happens, I’ve picked quite a good day to take annual leave as there’s quite heavy snow outside. As well as having a well-deserved lie-in, I’m trying to tackle all of the unread items in Google Reader (which I’m kind-of still using) and Pocket that I’ve amassed over the past three weeks or so. Christine is working this weekend so I basically have three days in which to do basically nothing, which for once I’m looking forward to.

Things are progressing with the wedding, which is about six weeks away; we have all of the RSVPs now, and have organised a few of the major outstanding things like the mens’ suits and flowers. And we’ve booked a honeymoon – five nights in Paris. It’s only a short break but we may go on a more substantial holiday next year. What with the wedding, we didn’t want two really large purchases this year.

Having missed it when it was on TV, I’ve bought the DVD of the first two series of The IT Crowd (also on iTunes) which we’re both enjoying immensely. I may have to buy the other two series as well.

Two more of my user accounts have two-factor authentication – app.net and Apple ID. I’m now waiting for Twitter to catch up and enable it on their site.

Trinity Leeds opened yesterday (see my blog post about it). I didn’t go, despite the possibility of a free t-shirt at the new Apple Store there. Yes, at last, Leeds has an official Apple Store there; I’ve been waiting for at least 7 years for one, after Manchester and Sheffield got theirs.

Trinity Leeds

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Next month, a new shopping centre will open in Leeds, called Trinity Leeds, after almost six years of construction.

Unlike most shopping malls this isn’t an out of town development; Leeds already has one in the form of the White Rose Centre. Instead, this will take over some under-utilised land in the city centre and open out onto Briggate, a street which ranks in the top 10 busiest in the UK for pedestrian footfall.  When it opens, it will have around 120 shops and will therefore add significant retail capacity to Leeds.

A trinity of shopping centres

Leeds Trinity isn’t all new. Around a third of it is the pre-existing Leeds Shopping Plaza, which used to be called the Bond Street Centre prior to its redevelopment in the 1990s. This has stayed open during the works, albeit with significant disruption.

The rest of the site consisted of two other shopping arcades. The Burton Arcade consisted of shops in the Arcadia group – Topshop, Topman, Burtons and so on. This was built in the 1970s, but demolished as part of the redevelopment with those store moving to temporary locations elsewhere in the city. The other was the Trinity Arcade; similar architecture and also built in the 1970s, but was looking very run down with low prestige shops by the time it was closed and demolished.

The new build for the shopping centre takes place on the site of the two arcades, with a bridge link to the old Leeds Shopping Plaza which has been extensively refurbished, both inside and out.

Not so much a mall

Trinity Leeds could be compared to the Eldon Square shopping centre in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, which is one of Britain’s more successful city centre shopping malls, but it will actually have more in common with the Liverpool One development. Though there will be a roof over it, and it will be on multiple floors, the centre will actually be open to the elements and will re-open streets that have been closed off for years as thoroughfares. The hope is that it will integrate as part of the city.

Shops, new and old

46 of the shops in Trinity Leeds will be new to the city. Apple will open their first store here; until now, Leeds has only been served by resellers as Apple’s recent expansion in the UK has passed it by. Several other fashion retailers will also open, since Trinity Leeds is not too far away from the Victoria Quarter where many of the more boutique fashion shops have set up around Harvey Nichols.

Marks and Spencer will expand their existing Briggate store into the centre, adding 20% to the floorspace of what is already one of their larger stores. Meanwhile the existing BHS and Boots stores in the old Leeds Shopping Plaza will remain.

Creating a vacuum

Whilst 46 of the shops in Trinity Leeds will be new, that leaves more than half that aren’t. Obviously some of those were part of the existing Leeds Shopping Plaza but others already have shops in the city and will be moving into the new centre. Christine and I were shopping in Leeds on Saturday and a number of shops already have ‘To Let’ signs up, ready for them to relocate. This was particularly noticeable on Lands Lane, which actually meets Trinity Leeds in the middle; there, Ernest Jones, River Island and La Senza all have signs up, presumably ahead of a move. Meanwhile the former Clintons Cards shop on the same street, which was closed when the chain went into administration last year, has laid empty for some months now.

Further up on The Headrow, the huge Primark store will up sticks as well, leaving a big empty shop in its place; Next is also moving out of its prominent Albion Street store. And on Greek Street, in the city’s financial district, I wouldn’t be surprised if Carluccio’s and Wagamama decide not to keep their existing restaurants as they open up new ones a couple of streets away.

Meanwhile, The Core, which is one of Leeds’ other shopping centres further up Lands Lane, is basically empty. The only shops still open there are those that open onto the street, bar one gadget shop on the top floor which was devoid of customers. The Core used to be the much busier Schofield Centre, but a drawn-out refurbishment some years ago led to footfall dropping and now the place is basically empty. One of the flagship units has been taken over by 99p Stores – hardly the high prestige shops that the owners were hoping to attract.

And on Briggate, opposite what will be the western entrance to Trinity Leeds, the Central Arcade has recently re-opened following redevelopment, but again, with almost all of its shops empty. Of the two units with a prime location on Briggate, one is empty and the other one is a branch of Gregg’s the bakers.

It’s the economy, stupid

Despite these issues, it’s good to see major investment in a city centre, especially now. We’re approaching five years since the credit crunch kick-started the global economic meltdown, and Britain is on the verge of recession for the third time since 2008. It’s really tough for the high street right now with HMV in administration along with Blockbuster and Republic, and Jessop’s has been wound up, all in the past six weeks. Any major development like this may help to restore confidence in the high street. But my worry is that the economy is so fragile that the rest of Leeds will suffer as a result, when successful shops move and take their footfall with them.

There’s quite a bit more information about Trinity Leeds in this article from My Life in Leeds which is worth reading.

Free audience tickets for TV recordings

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Reef

If you fancy an evening of entertainment, for free, then one great way of doing this is by being in the audience for a TV recording. Many TV shows are recorded in front of a live audience and in the vast majority of cases the tickets for the audience members were given away free. Christine and I have been to a couple of recordings ourselves, and I have some knowledge to impart on the subject.

1. Find out where to get tickets

There are a number of different companies and organisations that offer tickets. Sometimes this is the broadcaster or the production company itself, but more often that not a third-party company will provide the audience and there are a number of such companies that operate in the UK.

They will list the shows that they are currently offering tickets for; you may also find that you can join a waiting list for tickets for their more popular shows, even if they are not due to be recorded for some time (remember that some shows are recorded as much as 6 months in advance of transmission).

The main ones to look at are:

  • BBC Shows – for TV and radio programmes made by the BBC themselves
  • Applause Store – for big shows like X-Factor, Big Brother, but also shows like QI as well.
  • TV Recordings – some smaller shows like Russell Howard’s Good News and Not Going Out
  • SRO Audiences – generally used for Channel 4 shows like 8 Out Of 10 Cats and 10 O’Clock Live
  • Lost in TV – game shows like Superstar, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
  • Hat Trick Productions – Have I Got News For You, The Kumars and Room 101

Many of these let you sign up to an email list, so that you are notified when tickets become available for new shows.

2. Most shows are recorded in London

London has more TV studios than the rest of the UK so the majority of recordings take place there. This is great if you live near London but a bit of a pain for us Northerners. You will find some in Birmingham, Manchester and Salford from time to time though.

3. The tickets are not for resale (so don’t buy or sell them)

Because the tickets are free, some people try and sell them on sites like eBay for a quick buck. Don’t do this – if the company offering the tickets finds out, you’ll find the tickets cancelled and you may be barred from future recordings. And, if you buy tickets this way, don’t be surprised to find yourself turned away if the tickets were cancelled, leaving you out of pocket.

4. You need to get there early

By early, I mean at least an hour or more before the doors open. This may seem extreme but empty seats in an audience looks bad, so the audience companies offer more tickets than there are seats, to compensate for no-shows. Unfortunately, should everybody turn up, if you’re at the back of the queue you may be turned away if all of the seats are already full.

For this reason, I’d advise against making special trips to places just to be in the audience. It’s happened to me before.

On the plus side, if you do turn up but the recording is already full, generally you will be put on a ‘priority list’ for a future recording.

If you do get in, then be prepared to wait around for some time before the recording starts – so bring something to read if you’re easily bored.

5. If you can’t go, let the audience company know

When you book tickets in advance, there’s always a chance that, nearer the time, something crops up which means you can’t make it. In this case, contact the company that issued the tickets, tell them that you can’t make it and ask them to re-allocate the tickets. Whilst I mentioned earlier that these companies do compensate for no-shows, by surrendering your unused ticket, you may give somebody else on a waiting list a chance to go instead. Plus, it keeps you in good standing with the audience company – if you don’t show up, then they may decide that you’re an unreliable guest and you will be less likely to get tickets in future – especially for the more popular shows.

6. If you attend regular shows, you may get priority tickets

If you build up a good reputation with a particular company, by showing up on time regularly (and surrendering unused tickets), you may be issued with ‘priority tickets’. This means you’ll be let into the studio first and will probably get the best seats, and often allows you to jump the queue. However, it’s still not a guaranteed seat, and generally you will have to turn up even earlier.

7. Don’t expect to be treated like a paying customer

When you pay to attend an event, you will have some expectations, such as comfortable seats and being treated nicely by staff. The opposite applies here – by attending on a free ticket, you are doing the programme makers a favour. You may find that you’re sat on an uncomfortable wooden set, and you will be expected to follow the instructions given to you by staff at the event. In particular, this includes turning off your mobile phone during the recording (in case there’s interference with radio microphones), keeping quiet when you’re told and also laughing or applauding when required. Hopefully the show will be enjoyable, but if you’re at a comedy recording your role is to laugh at the jokes regardless of how funny (or otherwise) they are.

8. To get tickets to the big shows, you may need to go to smaller ones

The bigger sites like Applause Store are contracted to find audiences both for the big, popular shows, and for new, less-exciting-sounding shows. To encourage people to go to these new shows, you may be offered a deal – go to relatively unknown show X, and get priority tickets to big show Y. Whilst this could mean sitting through a rubbish game show to be broadcast during the daytime on a little-watched digital channel, you will be doing the audience company a favour and so they will be more likely to offer you the chance to see the bigger shows.

9. Tickets for the big shows go quickly

And by quickly I mean within hours. A show like Have I Got News For You will fill up all of its audience seats for a whole series in less than a day, so join Hat Trick’s email list to find out what time the tickets go on sale, and then get them as soon as you can.

10. It takes longer to record a show than it does to broadcast

A half hour TV show may take nearly two hours to record – what you see on TV is the edited highlights. Before the recording starts, there is usually a warm-up act, and at the end of the recording, any bits that didn’t tape properly or were missed out will be re-recorded. Live recordings will fill the allotted time, of course, but bearing in mind that most recordings are done in the evening, it’s probably best not to plan to do anything afterwards. Also, make sure you eat something before, or whilst you are queueing, if you would otherwise miss a mealtime or you’re concerned at the prospect of not eating something for three-to-four hours.

Coffee

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“Many consider complexity of circumstances and motives to be precious indulgences that can wait until a better world has been achieved.” ―Albert Murray ☕️
Photo by anokarina, under a Creative Commons License.

When wanting to choose a photo for this post, I found that none of me 2500+ Flickr photos were tagged with ‘coffee’, hence the use of someone else’s photo under license. The reason for this is that I don’t drink coffee.

Or rather, I never used to drink coffee. But now I do. Occasionally.

Until now I’ve been that awkward person who, when asked whether I wanted tea or coffee, wanted something else like water or juice or hot chocolate or anything that wasn’t a hot caffeinated beverage. But as coffee shops have become more and more prevalent I’ve been curious to see if I really do still hate coffee.

In Starbucks, I’d been having their Frappucinos for some time – the non-coffee ones – and on a day when I was feeling particularly tired after an early start I opted for a caramel coffee one, hoping it would perk me up and wouldn’t have the bitterness that I hate about normal coffee (I also don’t like dark chocolate, or bitter ales, incidentally). Thankfully, it didn’t, and so step one of accepting coffee into my life was achieved.

The problem with blended drinks like Frappucinos are that they’re cold drinks. Great in summer, when it’s warm – or some semblance thereof, this is northern England we’re talking about here – but in the cold mid-winter the last thing you want is a thick, ice cold drink when you actually want to warm up. So, again, I decided to experiment – a caramel latte. And, it wasn’t bad.

So far I’ve had a few lattes, although not all of them a success (I won’t name the outlet that gave me a latte that frankly tasted foul, but bleurgh, I had the aftertaste in my mouth for hours afterwards). Next I may push the boat out a little further and try a cappuccino.

For those of you who are hardened coffee drinkers, it may seem bizarre that I’m only now discovering coffee in my late twenties. But sometimes, rather than assuming that just because you didn’t like something 10 years ago, you won’t like it now, it’s worth trying it again.

Lurgified

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Posts here have been a little light of late because both Christine and I have been ill with some kind of bug that isn’t quite ‘flu but stronger than a cold. We both spent most of Tuesday asleep, and although I’ve managed to drag myself to work over the past couple of days I’m still not completely better yet.

In other news:

  • Travelodge saw my post last week and we had a productive chat about my experiences. I have edited the post accordingly, and will therefore withdraw my comments about avoiding them.
  • I updated this site to WordPress 3.3, which went almost flawlessly apart from it not deleting the .maintenance file from the root folder (the existence of this file basically shuts your site down). It’s easily solved though, and I’m liking the update – the new fly-out menus are very welcome and help to declutter the interface. There’s also drag and drop uploading of images, which sounds cool although I’ve yet to try it myself.
  • Now I just need to upgrade the other two blogs on here to 3.3. I’ve considered enabling multi-user mode and just having one install but I’m worried that it’ll be a little too restrictive for my needs.
  • I’ve been experimenting with DNSCrypt, a new tool from OpenDNS which allows you to encrypt your DNS requests in the same way that web pages are encrypted over SSL. It’s a ‘technology preview’ at the moment, with only a Mac client available which is at version 0.7. Unfortunately, when I tried it, it slowed down DNS requests significantly which made pages load more slowly – especially those such as Facebook where images are hosted on cloud servers on different subdomains. The client is also a bit of a pain to uninstall. It’s promising but I’d wait for version 1.0 if I were you.
  • Christine and I have booked tickets to see the mighty Alestorm next year. After seeing Within Temptation last month (who are amazing live – if you like that kind of music, get tickets if you can), and Alestorm next year, I’ll have seen 3 of my 4 favourite bands live. Just need to see Nightwish now, although they haven’t announced any UK dates for their next tour unfortunately.

Movember

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I haven’t blogged about it much but I’ve decided to passively participate in Movember by growing some facial hair. Rather than settle for a simple moustache, I’m instead going for a goatee beard, and have been posting photos on Twitter every 5 days – day 15 being last night.

This is the first time I’ve ever intentionally grown a beard – in the past it’s generally been because I couldn’t be bothered to shave – and is now the longest period I’ve gone without going through the customary removal of facial hair from around my mouth. Christine was consulted on the decision to grow a beard, in case you were wondering.

While there’s still another couple of weeks to go, come December 1st it’s highly likely that the beard will come off. It’s proving to be an interesting experiment but I prefer the clean shaven look; not at least as it makes shaving easier since you can just shave right across your face and not have to avoid certain areas. There’s also the general build-up of crumbs and loose hairs in it, and the fact that the hairs get soggy when you drink.

Also, I’m not doing Movember for charity, but others are – if you know someone who is, chuck a few pennies their way, will you?

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