Last Monday marked my return to work, following five and a half weeks of customary holidays and then paternity leave. I was expecting it to be hellish, as our baby hasn’t been the most consistent sleeper – which is to be expected for someone that age. A week on, and I’m actually coping okay – I’m getting just about enough sleep most nights, albeit in chunks rather than a contiguous block. My performance at work hasn’t been quite as good this week as normal, but I put that down to another major factor which I will talk about soon. Don’t worry, it’s good news.
The week I spent working abroad last year was probably worse than last week in terms of tiredness. Back then, I had several nights with minimal sleep – or none at all in some cases – and very long working days. At least we’re getting some sleep, and I have had regular work days without any late nights or especially early starts. I did have to work for part of the day on Saturday though.
Going back to work has meant that I’ve needed to step back a little from my parenting responsibilities. So that I can get enough sleep for work, I’m not doing any overnight nappy changes. We’ve also stopped doing top-up feeds with formula (which was mainly my responsibility), so our baby is now almost exclusively breast-fed. This was our intention from the start; top-up feeds were only really a stop-gap because our baby wasn’t putting weight on initially. Now, Christine’s able to produce enough milk.
I’m glad that I was able to take off more than the minimum amount of time for paternity leave. Going back after two weeks would have been painful, and would have put more pressure on Christine. Those few extra weeks have made a positive difference and – most of the time – Christine has been coping well whilst I’ve been at work. Unfortunately, I only have a couple of weeks’ holiday allowance left, to last me until the end of July, so apart from some accumulated time of in lieu of overtime, I’m not going to be able to spend much more time at home during the week before Christine returns to work in the summer.
Christine spent the new year apart for only the second time since we met. Unfortunately, our little poppet had to go back into hospital on Wednesday, and so Christine stayed on the children’s ward overnight. They should be coming back home again today hopefully.
Visit London and Bristol – we managed London in October, but Bristol eluded us this year.
Not bad, on the whole. I’m hoping that I’ll have time over the next four weeks to go to the gym during the daytime whilst I’m on paternity leave, when it’s a bit quieter, and be able to make it a habit again. We could also do with an overseas holiday, although our baby will need a passport first. We can’t order one until we register her birth, which we haven’t been able to do as the local register office has been closed over the Christmas period. We have an appointment booked for next week though.
Another thing Christine and I both need to do is clear our credit card debts, which together amount to a four figure sum. Once clear, we can start rebuilding our savings. Christine also needs to re-start her driving lessons, which she paused when she got too pregnant, and pass her theory and practical driving tests.
And we need to continue to work on our new house. There’s still quite a bit of painting to do downstairs, for which we’ve already bought the paint for but haven’t had the time to actually apply it to the walls. And we still have a lot of unpacking to do. Once we’ve saved up enough money, we’ll then look into turning our spare downstairs room into a cloakroom with a toilet and basin, and consider re-wiring the upstairs of the house.
But the main thing we want to do is spend us much time we can with our new baby.
It’s time for my annual review of the year just gone. The theme for this year is ‘when I grow up’, for two reasons. One, it was the name of a song that I sang in a concert in April, but also because some major grown-up things happened to Christine and I this year.
As usual, the 14th January was my blogiversary, marking 13 years since I started blogging. I was also sent a UPS to review; that’s now been passed on to a friend who could make better use of it.
February
February saw the first big step forward in the house-buying process – we had an offer accepted, for the home that we ultimately bought. I also visited the opening of the Bradford Brewery, which later became famous for a Twitter spat with the then-local MP George Galloway, and got a new iPhone after my previous one started to give up the ghost. We went to see the comedian Josie Long in Leeds, and the cabaret act Fascinating Aida in Bradford in the same week.
March was a busy month, by comparison. The first week was taken up by being a theatre technician for Moby Dick! The Musical, for which Christine was the producer and also a performer. This was the first of three shows that I worked on this year, all at the Bradford Playhouse. I then had a busy couple of weeks at work, followed by a week away in the Middle East for work. This was my first overseas trip for work, and saw me visiting Amman in Jordan and Muscat and Salalah in Oman, via Dubai and Bahrain. It was a great experience and allowed me to visit countries that I will probably never have chance to see again, but the days were long and I had to work hard out there.
The busy month meant that I didn’t get chance to write about much on the blog, apart from how I wouldn’t be buying an Apple Watch. I still haven’t bought one.
April
The big news in April was me passing my driving theory test – a key milestone in learning to drive. I’d taken and passed the theory test before, back in 2006, but they’re only valid for two years and as I didn’t subsequently pass my practical driving test back then, it expired. Still, it was a big step forward.
Over the Easter weekend, we went on a day trip to Fountain’s Abbey, with my parents.
I don’t often sing in public but I decided to take part in a small concert, at the very end of April. As Christine was organising it, I decided that being part of it would mean that I get to see her more often, rather than spending two nights a week apart due to rehearsals.
May
In early May, we discovered that Christine was pregnant. At the time, we kept it mostly a secret, telling only close family and our respective employers.
I had a fun day out at the Foxfield Railway with my family. My dad turned 70 at the very end of 2014 and his birthday present was to be a train driver for the day, so we spent the day trundling up and down the short preserved railway near Stoke on Trent. His birthday present this year, from Christine and I, was a photobook of the photos that I took on the day. I haven’t seen the finished photobook yet but I gather it has come out well – I ordered it from Apple through the Photos app in OS X.
We finally completed the house purchase in June, and so we were able to start work on renovating it. We’d originally expected to be able to move in after around six weeks, i.e. early August, but the more work we did, the more we realised that additional work would be required. Ultimately, it was late September before we moved.
June was the month when we went public about Christine’s pregnancy (although I didn’t blog about it until July). We kept mostly schtum until after the 12 week scan, mainly because there’s a higher risk of miscarriage in the first trimester, but also because we wanted to be able to show the ultrasound image. Until then, we didn’t have anything really tangible to show, apart from a positive home pregnancy testing kit.
A day out in Manchester gave me the opportunity to write about the renovation of Manchester Victoria station, which was nearly complete in June. I also finally started writing about my middle east trip, over a couple of weeks.
July
I was back in Manchester in July, this time for a stag weekend where I probably drank more alcohol in 48 hours than I did for the whole of the rest of the year. Thankfully, a lot of this was at Brewdog, so it was good alcohol.
We had a free meal out at a local chain restaurant, in a role as a mystery shopper. It was a good experience, although sadly we haven’t had the opportunity to do it again, as none of the visits offered since have appealed to us.
I passed my driving test! It was technically my third attempt, following two attempts in 2007, but was the first time after a long break, and with only two minor errors. It was a big relief, as I think we would have really struggled with our baby daughter later on, had I not passed by then.
August is always busy at work, thanks to it being UCAS Clearing, so I didn’t get chance to write about much on the blog. We got to end the month with a trip to St Andrews in Scotland, for the wedding of two very good friends, over the bank holiday weekend.
September
Two big things happened in September. The first was finally being able to move into the house that we’d owned since June, albeit right at the end of the month. Since moving in, we’ve done some more painting but renovation work has been on the backburner whilst we got ready for the baby’s arrival. In any case, the work remaining is relatively minor and not urgent, hence why we were able to move in.
We also bought a car. This actually happened before we moved – and having a car made the house move a little more bearable. It’s not a great car but it meets our needs, and I haven’t managed to crash it yet I thankfully. Although the paintwork has gained several scratches and the front right wheel arch needs replacing after I got a bit too close to a metal railing whilst reversing. We need to get a little more money together before we get these issues fixed in the new year.
We went to a couple of stand-up comedy gigs in September – Justin Moorhouse played our local pub on one of the first dates of his UK tour, which was nice of him, and then we went to see George Egg in Bradford as part of the British Science Festival.
October
Although we were able to squeeze in a short, last minute visit to London in 2014, in October we made proper plans and spent a full weekend in the capital. This also gave me over a week’s worth of content for blog posts, which was helpful.
Whilst I’d decided not to buy a full-blown smart watch earlier in the year, I decided to splash out on a Fitbit Charge fitness tracker. Three months on and I’m still wearing it every day, as it’s a good motivational tool. It encourages me to take the stairs rather than the lift, and to move around more when waiting for things. I’ve even tried its sleep-tracking feature of late, seeing as how sleep is likely to be at a premium for the next few weeks.
We picked an unseasonably warm and sunny day to visit the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, and specifically the poppy cascade that is there until early in the new year. November also saw the long-awaited opening of Bradford’s new shopping centre, which has been under construction for over a decade. I’ve been through it a few times since and it has always been busy. There’s a handful of empty shops but these seem to filling up quickly – a trend that’ll hopefully be repeated elsewhere in Bradford city centre.
I had a go at brewing my own beer. The beer was okay, although I never drank any more of it after writing the blog post. It’s almost certainly spoiled by now.
And so to this month. Obviously the arrival of our baby was by far the biggest news, and we’re all now back at home now having recovered from the birth. In fact, our little newborn poppet was lying on my arm whilst writing part of this blog post, so any mistakes are probably the baby’s fault. As well as worrying about the birth, I was also worrying about the flooding that hit our town – thankfully, we weren’t directly affected but getting to the hospital for the birth was interesting.
We had a quiet Christmas at home, so that we could enjoy some time alone with just the two of us. Tentative plans for New Year’s Eve have been made, but these are very much weather-dependent.
It’s been a few weeks since I wrote about Christine’s pregnancy. We’re now into week 33 of (up to) 40, so the baby is due to arrive in less than two months time.
Christine has had quite a lot of scans and tests, due to her being deemed ‘high risk’, but so far there have been no major issues. Her latest scan was yesterday and thankfully there was very little to report. Her hospital bag is packed and ready, just in case our little bundle of joy decides to make an early entrance into the world.
We’ve also got most of the things we need at home. We picked up the car seat last weekend – quite important as hospitals won’t let you drive the baby home without one. We also have a pram, a moses basket, changing mat and some clothes. In other words, we should have most of what we need, at least for the first few days. Hopefully.
I’m working through the article that I’ve saved to Pocket over the past few weeks and came across a poignant piece called Losing the Language of Love (Web Archive Link). It’s about how you develop a special dialect when you’re close to someone for a long time, whether it’s a partner, friend or family member, and how it feels when that person is no longer a part of your life anymore.
It reminded me of the almost three and a half years that I spent with Hari, my first girlfriend. Over the years we developed our own dialect between us, much of it derived from gamer speak – we’d call each other ‘noob’ if we did something wrong, or use ‘zomg!’ as an expression of surprise. And, like in most relationships, we had pet names for each other that made no sense to anyone else.
We split up in March 2009. As well as losing a partner, I also lost a reason to use those words – they didn’t really mean anything to anyone else. And I’d feel uncomfortable using them with Christine – after all, I see them as relics from an old relationship that didn’t work out.
But then Christine and I also have our own words. Like most couples, we have our pet names for each other, which in both cases is ‘Squishy‘, because we’re just that sick-inducingly cute. And, by extension, our pet name for our unborn child is ‘the Squishlet’, even though we’ve basically settled upon a name for it based on its presumed gender. Plus, there are other words and phrases that we use that are probably meaningless to others.
When a relationship with someone close to you ends, it isn’t just the physical things that disappear. It’s also the less tangible things like words and phrases, that meant so much to you and your significant other. To others, they are just that – words and phrases with no context.
I’ve bought myself a fitness tracker – a Fitbit Charge(sponsored link).
My primary reason for buying one was that I needed a new watch strap for my basic Skagen watch. Instead of buying a strap I decided to just get a new watch, as the Fitbit wasn’t much more expensive at the time and it can function as a watch, amongst other things.
There are lots of fitness trackers out there but I went with a Fitbit for a couple of reasons:
Price – I was able to get one for a good price on Amazon at the time
Recommendation – my manager at work has a Fitbit Charge (having previously owned a Fitbit Flex) and she recommended it to me
Third-party integration – Fitbit integrates with Runkeeper, which I use for tracking exercises and walks, and with IFTTT
User reviews – the Amazon reviews of the Fitbit Charge tended to be better then other trackers such as the Jawbone Up or Misfit ranges
I’ve had the Fitbit for 10 days now, which happened to include the time period when we were moving house, and so I clocked up a lot of steps and stair climbs initially. It’s set for five basic daily targets: 10,000 steps, 8.05 kilometres distance walked (that’s five miles in old money), 2,937 calories burned, 30 minutes of activity and 10 floors climbed. I upped the floor climbs to 20 as I was often hitting 10 floors before lunchtime, but I’ve kept the rest at the defaults.
I’ve exceeded 10,000 steps on some days (and 15,000 on a couple) but on other days I’ve missed the target by some way. This is despite my normal daily commute consisting of around 45 minutes of walking, split into four blocks. I was surprised at this, but it’s useful to know that I need to get more exercise during the day. I managed over 80 floors climbed one day as well, although this seems to be because the Fitbit Charge is interpreting some of the steep hill climbs in our area as stairs. Something to bear in mind if you live in a steep-sided valley like I do.
Fitbit app
You can track your progress using the Fitbit mobile phone app, which synchronises with your device via Bluetooth. By default it does this regularly throughout the day but you can turn this down if needed. The all-day sync mode does have an effect on your phone’s battery life, but it’s not too significant, in my experience.
If you have friends with Fitbit devices, then you can also view their progress. The ‘Friends’ view in the app shows the total number of steps taken over 7 days. At the moment, I’m on 54,374 – this is less than the 70,000 that I’m aiming for but puts me fourth out of seven, and only two of my friends have hit this target. You can also take part in challenges – most steps in a day, week or weekend, and also specific goals like stairs climbed. It’s a good motivational tool, although it does result in the app sending notifications when you’re close to overtaking someone, or vice versa, which gets annoying after a while. Thankfully, these can be turned off.
My main reason for purchasing the Fitbit Charge was that it also tells the time. The time doesn’t show on the screen all of the time, but can be illuminated by double-tapping the screen, pressing the button on the side of the screen, or lifting your wrist towards you. It’ll also show your key targets – steps taken, stairs climbed, calories burnt and distance walked, which you can scroll through by pressing the button.
The Fitbit’s battery life is reasonably good – a full charge should last between 7 and 10 days, depending on usage. It charges via a USB cable, but with a custom port on the back of the device. You can’t wear the device whilst it’s charging.
The Fitbit Charge comes in four colours and two sizes. I accidentally bought the small one, which is a bit too small for me but alleviated by an additional strap that I bought separately. Some of the Amazon reviewers had found that their Fitbits fell off easily and so I had bought an extra strap anyway. If you have medium-sized arms, I would recommend the large size though.
Overall, I’m impressed with the Fitbit. It seems to count steps quite accurately, despite being worn on the wrist, and performs well. It’s also good at motivating me to take the stairs rather than lifts, and to get out and walk more to maintain my targets.
Last week, Christine had her 20 week ultrasound scan. Our baby is developing normally, it would seem – everything seems present and correct, and he or she is growing at the correct rate. And the image is much more clear than it was at the first scan at approximately 11 weeks.
We did found out the gender of the baby and have told some people (mainly family), but we’re not making it widely known. This is mainly because the sonographer wasn’t very confident about whether the baby is a boy or a girl, but also because we don’t want to end up with lots of pink or blue clothes in case we have another child later on.
Christine is still due to give birth in early January.
It happened the day before he was due to play the role of the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors, so working with the same theatre group on Moby Dick this year brought back a lot of the memories from twelve months ago. Indeed, a page in this year’s programme was dedicated to him, appended with a quote from Terry Pratchett about death. It was rather cruelly ironic that Pratchett himself passed away last week as well.
Whilst I’ve lost friends and family before, Dave’s death affected more than any other. Part of it was its sudden nature; he hadn’t been ill, or been recently rushed to hospital. He was alive and well, then, a few minutes later, he wasn’t. The shock of it meant neither myself, Christine, nor our many mutual friends had any time to prepare for it emotionally like you do when someone is ill before they die.
But also, Dave was someone that I saw at least once every week. There are so many things that I used to do on almost daily basis suddenly had to be done without him. So his passing affected not just me, but many others who knew Dave so well.
Tonight, some of us will be having a few drinks to remember Dave, like we have on several occasions over the past twelve months. Because, for someone like Dave, one memorial just isn’t enough. I still miss him so much.
Well, it’s the start of another year. As well as reviewing the year just gone, as I did yesterday, I usually also write about what is likely to happen in the year ahead.
In 2014, I expected us to buy a house, pass our driving tests and buy a car, go to the gym more, attend two weddings, go to a gig in Manchester and possibly go to Ireland. We did the gig, and we went to two weddings but one of those wasn’t one we were expecting – we were invited to one in the summer but we couldn’t feasibly get there. We didn’t buy a house and whilst we have started driving lessons, it’ll be a little while before we pass our tests and buy a car. But we did go on holiday to Dublin, and also to Bruges last year.
But, those things will hopefully happen in 2015. We still have money for a house deposit, sat in a savings account accruing interest, and hopefully we’ll both be driving by the summer. And whilst I did go to the gym in 2014, I really need to make it a habit, and not something I do for a few weeks and then forget about.
Two weddings are already in the calendar for 2015. One’s a family do, as the last of my four cousins finally ties the knot, and the other wedding is of two good friends.
No concrete plans for a holiday but we may do the ‘mini-cruise’ thing again, this time to Amsterdam instead of Bruges. We have the option of staying the night there so that we can spread it over two days. We’ll be keeping an eye out for cheap deals.
We also only managed one very brief trip to London last year, so we’ll be aiming to go again sometime this year – especially as we have friends living there. And I’d like to squeeze in a weekend in Bristol if possible.
Hopefully 2015 will be a good year. Best wishes to you all for a happy and prosperous new year.
